Community - Gender & Sexuality

[Artifice]

I guess by the sounds of it I've just been lucky and haven't had any problems! I didn't realise it was such an issue.

[Sten]

Much like everyone else here, it seems, I do not dislike out of homophobic reason or anything of the sort. Homosexuality, is to my knowledge, a normal part of the FR setting and not frowned upon really. But, I will say that from a player perspective it has taken overhand, and I could also fear that this turns into some sort of sexual-playground.

I have been a DM on other servers, which did not have rules against sexual roleplay, the place ended up being a cooky-holiday place for sexual RP spilling in from other RP servers. So you would pop on, and jump a bit about from one sexual dungeon of sadness to another. THat being said I have nothing against people partaking in it, most(All?) of us are adults anyway. However, I hate to see so many characters primary charaterisctic being their sexuality, as it for me just seems to lead down the same bodily-fluid covered path.

[booksarefun666]

This feels a non-issue to be honest and more based on your mindset when dealing with the subject of immersion. I'm not exactly privy how cheesy the dialogue is and while I never actually DM'd yet, I don't imagine I'd feel like Poisonous here when I'm DMing:

"There were days during my time DMing that I'd log in to the latest woman-on-woman relationship drama or flirtation. It wears you down. 'I'm working my butt off for this?' I can't imagine the strain on the DMs who are still active and working hard."

At worst, I'd just probably skip over it because it is probably a common sight and at best I'd form a mini-plot around having Goblin wearing fiesta hats taking away their loved ones.

However, since I'm not privy to the unyielding power and responsibility of a DM knowing literally everything on the server I can say from a player perspective, at least initially, I haven't seen all that many lesbians nor have I even been subjected to "vague" insinuations of girls in lesbian relationships. I imagine Goodman would have to know the other characters more, take time to know them, and not act so aloof towards them to know that and honestly, I'm okay with that personally up until the point they start holding hands and skipping down Sarshel screaming "lesbians! lesbiaaaaans!"

The way I figure it's not really a problem for my personal immersion is this: Adventurers and homosexuals are relatively minor population, embodied disproportionately in the avatars that the players use. While immersion breaking initially to see 6 lesbians on a server of 12 - 24, you have to understand that's six lesbians in all of Impitur. When put next NPCs such as Joe Blow the farmer and Sarushan the Herald's assistant, you can't get much more small of a minority.

To kind of pile on to the point more: In a region of 1,205,280 people, even 1% put aside for homosexuality and adventurers of that is 12,052.8 and that's more then enough statistically for all our players to fill that niche if they so wish.

There is a case to be had for sexual abuse to be shown so casually but that's addressing poor RP rather than the subject itself I feel and I imagine the lesbians that get under your skin are also not up to snuff roleplay-wise in that certain area.

__

To the OP though: I typically don't bring up issues unless I can offer a solution so what do you think you can do to help combat this silent threat? I recommend wholeheartedly to put all lesbians behind an application.

[Nereida]

From what I gather in the arguments of some posters, I believe the issue is more with badly role-played sexuality than actually the fact that they are lesbian/bisex characters. Some have stretched as far as saying they are "offended", and this is a subjective feeling that can not be universally measured and varies for each person. I feel this could also be extended to other kinds of roleplay, that I'll speak from a personal point of view, get more under my skin than the amount of time some players will spend in closed areas roleplaying intimacy and ignoring the rest of the world, be they homosexual or not. For example - badly played elves, badly played dwarves, badly played priests, badly played paladins, excessively hilarious/hideous character concepts and such - all of which at best can cause indifference, and at worst can truly offend certain other players.

So the point that should be raised, I think, is that it is perceived as if some players are doing a bad job at portraying their character's sexuality, at which point there may be disagreements, and pointless arguments to follow because nobody can be the judge of another's roleplay, except the DMs themselves, if they feel the case is outrageous.

And in that case, I feel this should be addressed personally with the player/players involved directly rather than taking a shout that will neither address, nor lay a path towards solving the issue, if there is one.

[Ponyrealms]

To the OP though: I typically don't bring up issues unless I can offer a solution so what do you think you can do to help combat this silent threat? I recommend wholeheartedly to put all lesbians behind an application.

I don't mean any offense to you but I must say I think that's absurd. They would then all roll bisexual characters.

Anyway more seriously, I think this is really only an issue when you have the faculty to invisibly spy on other people's RP. It's pretty obvious to me that if you have that power and you 'happen by' some (or many, over time) intimate encounter you are going to feel a distinct sense of awkwardness, or worse. Basically, you shouldn't have to be present.

It's like if I had to be in the same room when my real life neighbors were engaging in sexual acts, of course, I might grow some ill feelings towards them. But they are inside their own walls at such times, so I do not feel negatively about them in that regard. This is why privacy is often required for this manner of activities. I am sorry to have to be the one spelling it out.
Role play is very comparable to real life, hardcore role players seek authenticity and realism when RPing, for some that involves everything imaginable, and not missing one detail, and I do not think any of it should be outright forbidden or frowned upon. Especially when it is not being done in public venues or displayed in anyone's face not obviously agreeing to partake in the activity.

At least, and I do admit I have not been very active lately, I have never even heard of this 'problematic' until this thread popped into the forums. I understand some players' concerns when they log in and the other players online are not available, to that I say: deal with it. It's the same if you log in and everyone else already left for an adventure. Lower your expectations, it is not a solo friendly server and the population isn't that great in numbers.

But it's misguided and inaccurate to think players will stop doing what they like doing in their own free time because a mature conversation happened, and it is fine if such a conversation takes place, if anything the players will just leave after being ostracized.

To summarize, exercise caution and respect players' privacy and feelings. In a heavy RP server, if you think you need clarification as a DM from any player roleplay, you should request it from the players.

[Poisonous]

From what I gather in the arguments of some posters, I believe the issue is more with badly role-played sexuality than actually the fact that they are lesbian/bisex characters. Some have stretched as far as saying they are "offended", and this is a subjective feeling that can not be universally measured and varies for each person. I feel this could also be extended to other kinds of roleplay, that I'll speak from a personal point of view, get more under my skin than the amount of time some players will spend in closed areas roleplaying intimacy and ignoring the rest of the world, be they homosexual or not. For example - badly played elves, badly played dwarves, badly played priests, badly played paladins, excessively hilarious/hideous character concepts and such - all of which at best can cause indifference, and at worst can truly offend certain other players.

So the point that should be raised, I think, is that it is perceived as if some players are doing a bad job at portraying their character's sexuality, at which point there may be disagreements, and pointless arguments to follow because nobody can be the judge of another's roleplay, except the DMs themselves, if they feel the case is outrageous.

And in that case, I feel this should be addressed personally with the player/players involved directly rather than taking a shout that will neither address, nor lay a path towards solving the issue, if there is one.

It's more that at times it becomes a bit of a fad.

Edit: To clarify--it becoming a fad at times is what bothers me, while poor or good RP can happen with any type of RP. However, when lesbian RP becomes the current trend, it feels more demeaning to the server as a whole. This is just my opinion, of course--and of course, merely RPing lesbian characters does not mean the RP is bad or the RPer is a bad RPer.

[Vogelens]

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[Silver Snow]

Regardless of what stance is taken on this subject, I believe that making this a public post, as if it is to the community at large instead of a targeted reference to specific players, is inappropriate. More so, it is immature and deliberately non-confrontational while still being a passive-aggressive attack. If an individual, or the DM team (and no, I do not believe that a DM can speak on his own behalf in a public post while -not- implying the opinions of other DMs), has a problem it is clearly with a certain set of individuals. What should follow is mature, adult conversation with those individuals instead of a public forum where people get to parrot distaste, and where the only defense is a self-implicating argument. It's already fairly clear that in the eyes of certain authoritative bodies on this server, some players are already considered second class citizens; there cannot be something as outstanding as this that does not get in the way of average day to day decision making and interactions.
After thinking about it, I am disappointed that this is allowed to exist as an open topic by the DM team, and I think highlights the team's frequent inability to communicate with players pretty pointedly. There is no way this can lead to any solutions, no way it can lead to anything aside from hurt feelings, and no way is it diplomatic or responsible. This thread is a place that can only hold accusation and never a bilateral discussion, and could never lead someone to actually consider a different approach, if only because of its very public nature.

[Sten]

I will agree, that this has turned into a bit of a finger pointing and half-witch hunt. I myself particpated in it as well, and I apologize if I offended anyone. I don't think(Without truly knowing of course) the initial idea of this was to point fingers and cast-out the 'sinners' and all that jazz. But rather to get some discussion on it, which then turnt to poop, again in part due to my own post.

That being said, I still feel that this type of RP has begun to dominate the server quite a bit. To the point where I also believe it's a bit of an issue, as it has in the past ruined servers for me, when every relation was sexual and the political landscape of the place was practically dominated by a harem.*


*Not saying this is the case currently on the server, as I don't know, but it could become that way if not dealt with somehow.

[blatob]

I can only agree with the original post, even if this comes late in the thread.

And, after reading it fully, I have yet to see accusations and pogrom, to be honest, or singling the players. As far as I can tell none has been named.

Personally, too much homosexual tendencies seems unlikely. Statistically 10% of population is homosexual, 10% asexual and other have varying level of hetero and bisexuality. If you end up with that streak, it can devaluate rp in general on the server, in my opinion. As always, any sexually explicit rp is advised to be kept out of public.